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If she doesn't pocket her sixth Wimbledon and her fifth U. Open titles this summer, check the ground because the world may have spun off its axis.
She's never been more dominant than now, at the age of 31, which is about 179 in tennis years.
But the action takes place in the kitchen, where a cook hands Serena a green potion.
She drinks it reluctantly."I had chicken and waffles the other day, so I've got to make up for it," she says.
Serena reanimates and does a bunny hop around the dining room. "Patrick Mouratoglou, her newish French coach and possibly her boyfriend, emerges from a backroom.
Serena sighs."I guess it's time to do it."We head over to some nearby courts in my rental car (there's a white Rolls in the driveway)."That's Casper," says Serena. And, you know, Casper seemed obvious for that one."Like most everyone in modern America, Serena travels with an entourage.
There's Mouratoglou, the cook, the physical therapist and Aleksandar "Big Sascha" Bajin, her much-put-upon hitting partner.
And she would not have given a flying fuck what you thought.
This is a woman who one minute is reading inspirational notes during changeovers and then, in the 2009 U. Open semifinals, threatening to personally make a line judge eat a tennis ball.
(Evert now says Serena is the best of all time.) Hell, even dating Brett Ratner couldn't stop her. Serena and Venus Williams share a house in a gated community in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, where the rest of the residents have been enjoying the early-bird specials for years. On a misty March morning, Serena answers the door in sweats and a T-shirt, her long hair flowing in about seven directions."Come on in," she says, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.