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When he found out he was really upset and the financing for the film dropped out. I had wanted to be famous my whole life then when I was famous it didn’t change anything. Later, I was talking about the incident on stage and he came to one of the shows. They didn’t like his book but they mentioned how good-looking he is. Rumpus: A lot of made me really sad because you were hurting so much at a time when you should have been at the top. I thought that fame meant something, that fame was a positive thing and would actually change or improve your life. Rumpus: This is great for you because you’re a huge music lover. Rumpus: You always do this thing to me where you tell me something’s going to be terrible and then it’s not terrible. I figure, you can read the book yourself, why would you want me to do it for you. First there was the TV show, which made you really famous. I remember when it happened I was brokenhearted, I felt really disappointed. But he really wanted to have sex with me because he fell in love with this girl who wanted to fuck the world and he wanted to fuck her, too. He made a pass at me that was so awkward and gross that I wrote it into the script. But the thing is, I doubt that you could ever really give up. For me, it felt the way comedian Margaret Cho once described trying to stay skinny—“like holding a basketball underwater.” I could tell myself I was giving up on my search for love.I could try and push those feelings of longing down, but they’d invariably pop back up again. I accepted that it was there, allowed myself to feel it, and tried not to worry about it too much.
I understand the temptation to give up—I felt it many times during my dating years.
Cho: If someone has a huge impact on you it’s going to enter your work. I think you and I are far enough along in our careers that our work is very much a part of who we are and that’s also what people are attracted to. People like that want to be recognized for their work.
Rumpus: Let’s talk about that song, “Bottom to Top,” and some of your other songs. For so many years I’ve been doing political comedy critical of the Bush administration. All this stuff with Proposition 8 is very disheartening.
Rumpus: So a little more about your journey into music. Cho: Well, I have been doing music since 2003 but I was using synthesizers and working with other artists. But wanted to start writing music and doing it live so I started playing guitar.
Dear Sara: I’m in Seattle and dating here is brutal.
Because I made it for you, but when it’s ready I’ll put it online. But it was honest in the attempt, and for a couple of weeks. I had a relationship with someone where I was totally comfortable with “normal” intercourse. But after we broke up I found out I was wrong, that I was still into the same kinky stuff and didn’t want to have normal sex. It’s normal, it’s sex, it’s just your own form of it. Also, the music is kind of a response to the change in political climate.