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Mammals and birds, and other animals have to win the attention of a possible mate. They make the following objections, which I have described in a previous post and in a somewhat different context: Meeting strangers is potentially dangerous. Meeting people through the agency of these dating sites is no more or less dangerous than meeting them any other way.
In prehistoric times, individuals probably had to choose from only a half-dozen or so potential partners. An argument for internet dating: We have now, in the time of the internet, an inestimably huge number of potential mates, or to put it in the current vernacular, dates. Presenting oneself publicly as wishing to meet someone suggests, in the minds of some people, that such a person is driven to dating this way because he/she is unsuccessful dating in a more conventional way. Patients whom I have known who date successfully are largely inclined to date people they meet in all sorts of places, church, work, parties, and so on—It is important to realize and accept that any single dating opportunity is not likely to result in a long-term relationship, SO YOU MUST NOT BECOME DISCOURAGED BECAUSE OF REPEATED FAILURES.
Most of the effortless success that others seem to have is an illusion.
The more interviews a prospective employee goes on, the more likely he/she will finally receive a desirable job offer.
If the chance of success is only two percent, the odds begin to favor the applicant if he/she responds to four or five hundred job possibilities.
The problems inherent in this process are two: it is difficult to find four or five hundred job possibilities, and This same process of pursuing statistically unlikely opportunities is required for success in many endeavors, for example, publishing a novel, or trying out for a professional sports team, or leading a successful rock band. Some young men and women meet in high school; and sometime later, perhaps years later, they marry.
Of course, I have seen over the years a number of couples who married their childhood sweethearts long ago.
Some of these marriages have lasted and seem to be happy.
But in the setting of my office, where people are likely to be frank, most tell me that they wonder sometimes how it would have been being married to someone else.